Codependency - what is it?

Codependency is an imbalanced relationship where one person assumes the responsibility for meeting another person’s needs to the exclusion of their own needs. Codependent relationships can occur between family members, friends, co-workers, and between romantic partners. Many codependent people find themselves repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns despite their best intentions.

Codependency traits include:

Compulsive attention to someone. Codependent people feel like they can’t live without the other person. They may hiding feelings and thoughts to ensure the other person continues to like them.

Fear of abandonment. Codependent people have a deep-seated fear that the other person is going to leave the relationship.

Lack of external support systems. Codependent people rely entirely on someone else for their emotional needs. They don’t have many friends outside of their main relationship.

Self-doubt. Codependent people don’t feel like their preferences are important enough to consider and defer to someone else to make decisions for them.

Loyal to a fault. Codependent people tend to remain in harmful situations just to hold onto a relationship - even if it isn’t working.

Need to control or fix others. Codependent people feel a strong urge to provide solutions and advice to others to overcome their sense of emptiness or worthlessness.

If you or a loved one is codependent, it may be time to seek professional help. Therapy sessions can help establish goals to improve self-awareness, self-esteem, and help with the appropriate expression of feelings. A therapist can help create positive changes in this difficult relationship dynamic.